I'll Be There For You

I find that it's so important to keep relationships from your hometown and beyond going as long as possible. I may be 5,000 miles away, but I have found that there really is no shortage of Fairbanks in New York City, and this blog entry, in particular, is a testament to the importance of keeping all friendships alive and then being able to revisit them when certain people come to town or support them when they perform at venues in the city.

I always try to title my blog entries with something exciting that is attention grabbing. I think my whole singlehood series does use some relatively interesting wording that does intrigue its audiences. One time, I'll never forget I went to a lyrics seminar through the Ken Davenport Producer's Pro and the lyricists who was leading the group Amanda Yesnowitz told me that I had a good title for my first book. The fact that a true New Yorker who works at NYU, writes lyrics for shows that are Broadway bound, and wrote a crossword for the New York Times said that my title was well written. Wow! That was a wonderful compliment, that I will treasure forever!

Anyways the title, "I'll Be There For You" is a nod to the theme song featured in the television show "Friends." I feel like I am a fairly dependable, attentive friend, and I feel incredibly lucky to have a wonderful group of friends. I am a definite Facebook user and I must say that I do stay in touch with the majority of my friends through this medium. My use of Instagram is marginal (I really feel that I need to take a course or read a book on its usage, because I'm not at all confident when posting photos on this platform.) The fact that I have Twitter listed on my business card is cringe-worthy. I actually feel guilty that I have so little content on this account. I'm convinced to have it be my New Year's Resolution to become more comfortable with Twitter and to post more tweets.

I feel like it takes a very special breed of person to make it in New York City, combined with a set of fortunate circumstances. I am lucky enough that if I live incredibly frugally my parents have agreed to help me out as long as I continue to live a healthy lifestyle. Here is a picture of me coming home from my group therapy on the West side after having traversed through the noreaster conditions. Let me just restate that I was freezing and incredibly wet, not Bridget Jones wet, this was hypothermic wet.

The most important thing one must realize about living here in the city is that it's impossible to do it alone. I have found that without friends and family to hold you accountable it is easy to be swallowed up by the concrete jungle. From a very early age I was taught the lesson that "Connections are key." I had some of the very best teachers instill this concept within me. First my mother exposed me to the importance of keeping friendships and connections alive through her epically long Christmas card list.

As a young child I watched her as she meticulously put together a Christmas card list that was updated with new addresses and new contacts annually. She's also a great correspondent and makes sure to answer people when they are requesting information and communication, but most importantly she is incredibly authentic. She does not put on a show and pretend to live in a pretentious way. Everything she does is incredibly well-thought-out and beautiful, but many of her treasured/beautiful items come from Value Village, which she isn't afraid to broadcast. This photo was taken on the opening night of "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying."

Jo Scott was another great professor of connections. Growing up she was the definite promoter of the arts in my town of Fairbanks, AK. She generously allowed me to put my elaborate childhood shows on in her home and coached me on inviting twice as many people as you suspect will come to come to your events. Her husband Dick just passed away, but he was a true gem and joy to know. He supported her and her dreams and is what enabled her to turn our town into such an artistic community.

Now that Jo and Dick have moved to a community in Arizona I have found that I have begun to start depending on their daughter Shirley for connections. I do miss Jo and Dick terribly, however, Shirley's no fear attitude, extremely sharp know-how, and amazing connections does make the transition a little easier. Shirley truly is the best teacher and an amazing friend, I am so lucky to have her in my life.

The last professor of connections that have influenced my life would have to be my Uncle Lenny. He is a master of chit chat that eventually goes down to the nitty gritty. He is the local gutter cleaner for the town of New Canaan and makes it a point to strike up conversations with virtually anyone. His philosophy is that beggars can't be choosers and eventually the ripple effect will occur and that it will lead to the ultimate goal.

Every morning he goes down to "Dunkin' Donuts" just to B.S., but what most people don't see is although that B.S. session may seem enjoyable it's a way to keep current with the politics and current events of the town.

The Importance of Support

All of my past professors have taught me a little something different about the importance of connections, however, I like to consider myself as an artist and artists are a unique breed who understand the importance of support. I consider myself to be extremely lucky as I am subletting an inexpensive apartment that is conveniently located near midtown. All this was made possible through support and communication. I have managed to stay in touch with my friend Kurt from Stony Brook who I was in Ear Training class with approximately 12 years ago. He also played guitar for my juries because I was assigned to sing a Baroque piece, which sounded much better accompanied by guitar. Because I have made it a point to stay in touch with Kurt, I am enabled to stay in his wonderful apartment and through him I have managed to pull in one more Singlehood supporter!

Being a supporter of the arts in Fairbanks, AK was relatively easy, because the artistic events were fairly limited, but in NYC where artistry abounds, it is definitely complicated to keep up with all the artistic endeavors my people are up to. Here is a picture of me with Jo and Dick Scott and the brothers Hopkins (Chris & Patrick). I actually grew up with Chris and it's amazing for me to think that he is a father now and Patrick (who is much younger than me) is a cello instructor (Dr. Hopkins) at a university in Texas. This photo was taken back in the day when I lived in Harlem in an apartment where a lot of Homeland, Law and Order, and the Yankees was watched.

Back to Current Day

This summer while the temperatures swelled to unbearable highs, my friend Erica contacted me and told me that she was taking a trip to NYC. She would be staying with her childhood friend Merry, but would love to meet up with me. Now Ron, (yes he's still in the picture) decided that he wanted to go along with me to meet up with Erica and her friends, but first we had to run a few errands. No offense to Ron, but he's an awful navigator (the worst). Worse than me, which is saying a lot, because I literally thought that no one could possibly contain a poorer sense of navigation but alas Ron takes the cake! At least I have some memory of entering a building and which way to exit. It's as if he loses all sense of perspective, once he goes inside he no longer remember which way to turn to exit. Maybe I should buy him a compass for Christmas.

Well on the L train, which we first took deep into the heart of Brooklyn (oops, can I reiterate the blind leading the blind.) After realizing that we went the wrong direction, the best thing we could do was stay on the train.

Eventually we made it over to the wine bar where Erica and her friend Merry and boyfriend were finishing out the night. I couldn't help but swell with pride as Ron told me how cool my friends are. I must say that he is a little obsessed with wealth and the fact that he saw that it is possible to ignore that and still manage to have a good time is wonderful.

A day later I met Erica again at the Metropolitan Museum. Ron decided to come along but found himself hampered by emails and conference calls. Erica and I still managed to see a lot and I found Erica to be an exceptional tour guide. She did not focus on the utterly boring, shared her art history knowledge, and wasn't afraid to point out the truly obscene.

After the Met we said "Adieu" to Erica and went over to Don't Tell Mama to meet Shirley for this piano bar. I must say this was a great event, Shirley and I happily played name that showtune and Shirley even happily chimed in sometimes without the knowledge of the song or musical it was from. Well Ron did not quite understand what he was getting himself into on this one and later told me that we were being obnoxious and rude. "Excuse me?" That is how you behave at a piano bar. Well, I did have to take off and listen to my Davenport Office Hours, but the night did not end on a positive note. Ron and I still remain to be in a confusing relationship, but what can I say. Just like the city, life contains a natural series of ups and downs.