Je suis occupée

Oftentimes coming from a land that is far away from la France would tend to make my French appear to be a tad bit bizarre. When I was in France there were indeed some creepy lurkers who wanted to know my relationship status, so I would go ahead and tell them that I was occupée which I thought meant taken, but later when in Grenoble I found that occupé was an adjective that was reserved only to describe a bathroom stall. Oh well. You never succeed unless you try and sometimes trying does lead to embarrassment. Anyways, at this point I knew that I needed to be closed for business sort of like a bathroom stall on the airplane, I found that I needed to close down the adventurous side of me and really get to work.

One of the field trips that I took before deciding to buckle down and get to work was when I went to the CVS pharmacy to get some medication and while venturing back to the subway I came across this Beyond Burger food truck that was set up by the Economist. Long story short, I ended up getting a promotional 3 month subscription for my dad for Christmas and a gift for my brother for Christmas out of the whole experience.

As soon as I got home that's when the seriousness began. I had actually started writing Book 2 of the Singlehood trilogy while back in Fairbanks

before deciding to write Book 3. I ultimately decided that writing Book 3 would be so much easier and relevant to my current living situation at the time. Well I was right. It was easier and was something that I was able to write up in less than three months, while pretty much working full time. Book 2 has been a work of procrastination, no longer do I wish to sarcastically put myself down and laugh at heartache. It is too painful, and something that I do not wish to relive by any means. In Book 3 I thought that I'd be able to tie the ending up with a bow and state that I had finally found love, but being a skeptic is never the answer. I describe to people that my books have an unsatisfying sort of "La La Land" ish ending, where the main character is left in a perpetual search for love, but will never find it until she loves herself. I already wrote my ending and it is so painful to go back and relive my past. I made so many mistakes the first time that I went to New York that it is difficult to go back five years and make sense of everything that occurred before Book 3.

Well, the reason why many New Yorkers go on retreats is to get down to business. The fact is there always seems to be some reason or event for going into the city. My hopes for being completely disciplined can easily be shattered. In the past when I have avoided doing work I find that I suddenly become obsessed with cleaning my surroundings and I have even gotten a haircut just to avoid studying for a test.

In New York I have to say that I have come to find that it is the land of distractions. Oftentimes participating in artistic events is the reason why I excuse myself from doing my writing. Here are some photos of me gallivanting around the city instead of hunkering down and getting to work.

Here's me in FiDi (the Financial District) one night getting ready to meet Ron after work. Meeting with a friend is a good reason to abandon one's work for the night.

Artistic activities are something that I completely justify. It is the first time that I have lived anywhere that art has been so reasonable and so accessible that I just have to leave my apartment and go out into the world and watch a play Off-Broadway.

This play was called "The Great Hoax" and was about a man who advertised this rock formation which had come to life. In the end P.T. Barnum got involved, wanted to buy the rock-man, but when the owner wouldn't sell, he decided to make his own. In the end we found out that the attraction was indeed a big hoax, but one of the characters taught us if you want to believe something and create an imaginary situation, then it is possible to believe whatever you want and to be happy with whatever your situation may bring.

In addition to my theatrical life I love to window shop and one day imagine that my life will be glamorous enough to wear a dress like this. I'll never forget when I lived in Orlando, FL for Personal Training School and used to treat myself to shopping trips in Winter Park. After a sad realization that I needed to end a relationship, I decided to take to responsible retail therapy. I ended up buying a glamorous, overpriced ballero that I will someday be able to pair with a beautiful outfit.

In this photo we were all posing at a beautiful club in Orlando, Florida in 2010. I was wearing the coveted bolero and a dress that I have somehow misplaced, but on that night I finally knew that it was time to work as a free agent once again!

So, sometimes the mindset of being occupée, doesn't lead to complete productivity. Sometimes you just have to write a day, week, month, hopefully not a year off as not being completely productive. Maybe I was lucky when I wrote my 3rd book and the words seemed to flow out of my being. That does not make me a bad person for struggling slightly as I write my 2nd book.

I am extremely lucky to be going on this artistic journey where my parents are supporting me mentally and financially. I have loving relatives who are always there to support me along the way, and I have some of the best friends who are there to encourage and lift me up at all times. I have learned that sometimes it is necessary for me to relax, drink a milkshake, and marvel that I am living in the greatest city in the world where opportunities abound and are waiting for me to seize.